Powerless
by the lights of paris
Summary: "I won't ever be able too forgive you for what you did, Chuck. Never, for as long as I may live." And with that she was gone leaving Chuck to drown his sorrows in his scotch in silence. Just like she would never be able to forgive him, he would never be able to forgive himself. So he took a gun and shot a bullet through his head. Post Season Three. Multi Chapter. CB.


**Title: **Powerless

**Summary: **"I won't ever be able too forgive you for what you did, Chuck. Never, for as long as I may live." And with that she was gone leaving Chuck to drown his sorrows in his scotch in silence. Just like she would never be able to forgive him, he would never be able to forgive himself. So he took a gun and shot a bullet through his head. Post Season Three. Multi Chapter. CB.

**Authors Note: **Alright, I'm starting a new multi-chapter fic while I have what three in progress? Yeah, well I've sort of stopped writing those and this idea popped into my mind. It shouldn't be any longer then eight chapters and the chapters shouldn't be very long. It's set at the end of season three, with a few changes: Chuck _never _slept with Jenny, Blair didn't come too see Chuck but she came a day later too talk too him about why she didn't show (will be shown in a flashback throughout the course of the story), and Chuck shot himself instead. This is set two months after the S3 finale. Eva does exist and Elizabeth will make an appearance, so will Juliet but the whole Juliet\Serena stuff will be ignored as will Ben. Uh, this is pretty long. This will be angst but it will also include fluffy-type moments, I guess. Oh, and Henry Prince does exist. I will be using the term "mom" in this fic because that's the term they use on the show even though I say "mum" I feel like it's more in character for them to be saying "mom" and Serena's more Serena-Book then Serena-Show. In this Chuck actually keeps his phone, alright? I don't know what actually happened too it but I always guessed he lost it.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, _as always. _

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**WHATS IT LIKE IN NEW YORK CITY?**

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"Chuck? Chuck!" Serena frantically shouted, pushing people out of her way on the streets of Paris as fast as she could. She could see him, he was so close yet so far away. She waved her arms, trying to get his attention but it was too no use. She wouldn't give up though, no matter how much he had hurt her best friend, he was still her brother. She stopped dead in her tracks, trying to wipe the image of him being her _brother_ from her mind. They were friends and her mother would be grieving for years if anything happened too him. She sighed and looked around the crowd for him, she had lost him. Her shoulders slumped over and her head bent down, before turning around too head back too Blair, she caught a glimpse of him and a spark ignited inside of her.

"CHUCK!" She screamed as loud as her lounges would let her yet it still didn't catch his attention, she groaned and forced herself too pick up speed as she ran, _ran_ in heels too him. She caught up with him and spun him around too face her and without thinking twice she slapped him across the face leaving a red mark on his cheek. She stepped back, admiring her the work her hand just did do his face for a moment before noticing a blonde woman beside him. She was sporting a frown and looked rather concerned and _pissed off. _

"What was that for?" The blonde inquired. Serena just blinked dumbly.

"He knows what it's for." She replies back sharply, more too Chuck than the innocent blonde. Chuck rubs his cheek and shoots Serena a glare. Serena rolls her eyes and hikes her bag up higher onto her shoulder.

"Mom's worried sick about you," Serena casually says, staring at Chuck. He looks at her, a confused look written all over his face.

"Do I know you?" He asks after a few seconds, he looks puzzled and Serena lets out a gasp. Oh god, he's lost his memory! She panics, she doesn't know what too do.

"Yes! You know me!" She exclaims, her eyes burning with her fear of him losing his memory, "I'm Serena. I'm your step-sister, we've known each other since we were _really _little. Like five or six," She explains slowly. What if losing his memory damaged his brain? Of course it damaged his brain! He lost his memory! She shakes her head, her blonde locks flowing out around her face, and scolds herself for being so stupid.

"I'm sorry, I really don't know you." He says before tugging on the Blonde's arm and leaving, that's the first time she notices the cane. She sighs and lets him go. She needs too find Blair and tell her what's going on with Chuck, if he would remember anyone it would be her. She turned away on her heel and pulled out her phone calling her car around. A few minutes later it was in front of her and she slipped inside, leaning her head against the leather seats and shutting her eyes tight close. When did their lives all get so complicated? She reckoned it started when they were eleven years old and she realized for the first time she truly loved Nate. _Nate!_ Her eyes flew open, her heart feeling heavy. She had broken up with him, she had been trying too ignore the fact all summer but it had happened. She whipped out her phone and scrolled through the list of numbers before finding Nate's. She quickly dialed him, he would be willing too help even if he hated her guts at the moment.

Nate answered on the third ring, he had debated whether or not too answer it but decided it would be no help ignoring Serena if he wanted her back. She sighed in relief when he answered and quickly launched into her story,

"Apparently Chuck's hurt, according too my mom, and he's in Paris. I found him, he was with another girl and he didn't remember who I was! I think he lost his memory Nate. He was holding a cane and everything. I'm really worried about him, even after what he did too Blair," She rambles. Nate listens in total silence, nodding his head along even though she couldn't see him.

"I don't think he lost his memory," Nate says after a few seconds. This takes Serena back, her mind racing. She doesn't understand and then it hits her. Of course he didn't lose his memory, that's why he was in such a rush too get away from her.

"He's trying to erase the pain," Serena says after figuring it out. It made sense, Blair had come back home in tears after she had talked too Chuck, stating that the two of them were going to Paris and they were not going to even mention the name Chuck Bass. Serena hadn't questioned her all summer, fearing her answer about what had happened.

"What do we do?" Serena asked Nate worriedly. He would help her with this right? He was Chuck's best friend, he wouldn't dump it all on her.

"There is no 'us' Serena. Figure it out on your own," He bitterly responded and with that he hung up. Serena let her phone slip out of her hand and hit the floor. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes, she could feel the dread washing over her. He chest felt heavy, she clutched it as she let the tears slip out of her eyes and the sobs escape from her eyes. Nate didn't want to even help her with Chuck. Her worst fears were confirmed true, Nate hated her. He loathed her.

She couldn't get out of the car because if she did, she would have too face the world and she felt like hiding herself away from it for the rest of her life but after what she thought were a few hours when in reality a few minutes, Blair had yanked the door open, upon seeing the state Serena was in, the smile dropped off of her face and she quickly pulled Serena out as fast as she could. Serena clutched onto her like a child would clutch onto a mother.

"B, everything's so screwed up!" She cried, pounding her fists against Blair's back. Blair soothed back her hair and hushed her, whispering words in her ear that took made no difference too her. Blair led her into the house and up into her bedroom, she tucked her into bed and kissed her cheek. Serena looked like a child, worried and scared, Blair looked just like her mother on the rare occasion she was home and was feeling motherly.

"We'll talk in the morning, S. Get a good nights sleep, everything will be alright." She mumbled the last part, only partially believing it. She exited Serena's room and closed the door behind her, slumping her back on it. Visions of Chuck still plaguing her mind. She had seen him crossing the street, a cane in his hand and a blonde by his side. He had already moved on with some whore while she was still hurting. While she was still missing him, even after everything he had done too hurt her. She lifted herself up and walked over too her bedroom. She shut the door quietly behind her and pulled out her phone. She hit speed dial #1 before she could regret it and lifted the phone too her ear. He answered on the first ring.

"Blair?" Her breath hitched in her throat.

"I saw you today," She spat out her tone laced in venom.

"I know." He stated softly.

"I've missed you, Chuck." She admitted and then scolded herself, she couldn't go around admitting stupid things like that. She shut her eyes tight and let out a choked cry. No matter how proud she was, and how much Chuck had hurt her, she could never hide anything around him.

"You shouldn't say things like that," He warned. She nodded her head, she knew he was right.

"Goodbye," She hung up before he could say a single word and then she dived into her bed, phone in hand, clothes still attached too her body and she let her cry over Chuck for the first time since summer had started. She had regretted every day the words she had said too him, she had regretted not going to meet him up on the Empire State Building but she couldn't fix the past, only the present.


End file.
